You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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