I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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