5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize