Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize