69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
