I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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