Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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