How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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