Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
