and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
