Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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