So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
