I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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