I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize