We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
