he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
