are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
