dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
