So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
