Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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