So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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