State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
