Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize