i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
