so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
