I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
