Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
