puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
