I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
