Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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