i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
