My hand turned me down
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize