In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
