Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
