shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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