i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm determined to sit on that face.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
