I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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