bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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