he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
