hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
