Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
