i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
