I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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