They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
