yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize