I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
