idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
