Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
