I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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