is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
where are you?
Hypothermia
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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