If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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