Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
