I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
