I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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