There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
