I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
