You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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