I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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