The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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