i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
