there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
