omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
