I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What drink are we having for lunch?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
