her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
