My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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