We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
