Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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