just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize