Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
